The Grace Pace

I, like so many of you, was raised by a single mom. As a pre-teen, I also gained a bonus mom, who became a single mom as well, raising 3 of my younger brothers, so it comes as no surprise that single moms & their kiddos hold a special place in my heart, especially during the holidays.

I credit a huge area of my ministry to my experience as a child, and to the strong women that modeled grit and grace for so many years of my young life. “The Grace Pace” is a ministry focused on Motherhood & reminding others to truly accept grace, as we shoulder all of the responsibilities that come with raising up the next generation.

When it comes to the holidays, this message of grace can be even more impactful for our friends that are already filling the insurmountable roles of “Mom & Dad”…but that’s where we are given the perfect opportunity to invite them into our communities & show them unconditional love & support.

Several years ago, as my “bonus mom” shared the burden on her heart for Godly male influence in the lives of her 3 boys…I was inspired not only to pray with her over the circumstances, but to put action behind it!  Obviously I couldn’t run out to the mall & find them the perfect dad & husband, this is certainly no Hallmark movie…but I knew that I could stand with them in prayer, acknowledging the longing in their hearts, and speak life and promise over their lives the best way I knew how!

I decided to pick the boys up, take them to the store, and let them pick out the perfect gift for their mom!  We sat in the car a while and talked about what they wanted to tell her and what they hoped and prayed for as a family.  I took those notes back home and worked them into a letter from the 3 young men in her life. 

This was back in 2014, and one of the boys is now grown and moved off to college, another is a high school senior and the “baby” is not far behind!  Their mom did get married and her husband is everything we all prayed for years ago in the parking lot of the store that day.

I wanted to share this story as a beautiful example of a small gesture that brought joy and hope to a single mom and her kids during a tough season.  Moms already do so much for their kids every day, but it’s often these hard circumstances that are difficult to navigate alone.  That’s why it’s so important to invite them into community where they can be surrounded and encouraged. 

Building off of this example, it is my prayer to create awareness and bring together a network of communities willing to open their hearts and their doors to these moms and their families!  You likely already have at least one mom in mind, whether it be a friend, family member, or neighbor…so let’s start with them!

I have spoken with several of the ladies in my own community and put together a list of ideas for how to love on these families during the holidays!  If you have other ideas or you would like to share a story, please comment so we can all share in that as well!

1.  Christmas Shopping – This is so tricky for most of us already, but can you imagine trying to shop for your kids while they’re WITH you?!  No, thank you!  What a blessing it could be to offer to watch her kids while she takes a couple of hours to shop alone.  If she isn’t comfortable with leaving them, maybe you could tag along and take the kids to have them pick out a gift for thier mom or grab hot cocoa while she goes to the toy isle without them?  A quick conversation with her may be the start of a new friendship or mentorship that blesses you both! 

2. Gift Wrapping – Shopping is one thing, but wrapping everything is a whole different ballgame!  “Babysitting” may not be your thing, but maybe you’re a pro at wrapping gifts?  Perfect!  You could offer to meet her to help wrap, or pick up her items & get them wrapped for her!  This  act of service will definitely save her time and the unneccessary stress of having to stay up extra late or lock her kids out of her room while she wraps them after work!  (I’m sure we have all been on both sides of that door!  Ha!)

3. Mom’s Night Out – A couple years ago, my church did a “Mom’s Night Out” to allow them to go shop a bit while we kept the kids at the church, fed them pizza, played some games, and even had them pick out a gift to give their mom for Christmas!  I think the moms got a gift card to shop with as well!  I love this idea because it models community while pouring into the kids and the moms, all at once!  It also allows your church or small group to serve as a community and expand the impact you have!  If your church doesn’t offer this, see if you could implement it!  You could also search for other local churches with this type of ministry to inquire about serving!  Fundraising could also be done prior to the event to help with costs & to cover gift cards, etc.

4. Pregancy Resource Ministries – Check with your local Pregnancy Resource Centers & local Food Pantries to see if they have any specific needs or upcoming events you could help with.  Many times, they can share of at least one family in need.  In these cases, your sponsorship could be life-changing!  Also, connecting with a local Embrace Grace support group is always a great way to sponsor a young, single mom who is likely facing her very first Christmas with her baby and just needs a little encouragement and support as she navigates this new season.  Just go to http://www.EmbraceGrace.com and enter your zip code to find groups near you!

5. Invite Them In – So, all of these are technically “inviting them in”, but this point goes a bit deeper into the relationship aspect if our invitation.  I understand that this may not be applicable in every situation, but it certainly applies to single moms, as well as others in our community that may feel alone or isolated during the holidays.  Some examples are empty nesters, widows, newcomers to the area, college students who stay on campus for the holiday, etc. There is always room at our table for anyone who finds themselves alone on any holiday!  For single parents, (yes, single dads, too!) they often share the holidays with the other parent, leaving them alone and missing their kids while they’re away.  When we casually ask them about their plans for the holidays, let’s be intentional about listening to their responses and extend a genuine invitation, if you’re able, to join your family for a meal or outing.  They may decline, and that’s okay, but the gesture is quite meaningful and will leave a lasting impression.  It feels great just to be invited and thought of!

6. Financial Support/Sponsorship – This one is always an obvious need, but I didn’t want to list it at the top, simply because our genuine service and encouragement often has a greater long-term impact on the families, rather than just handing out money to cover material things that will likely be forgetten in a few months anyway…It can also feel intimidating to many of us who may not be single parents, but are still feeling the financial strain of the holidays as well.  I hate to give the impression that you have to have a hefty savings account in order to be impactful.  That couldn’t be less true, friends.  With that being said, offering gift cards, or gifts in general, is a great way to bless them and add to your ministry, but it’s not neccessarily a deal breaker if you simply cannot provide those things.  

I hope that these ideas have sparked some inspiration as we enter into this Christmas season.  It is such an honor to be able to share my heart with you all through this small ministry, and I am truly humbled as I reflect on all the precious ways you have poured into me, as I brought some of my deepest, most shameful secrets into the light over the past year.  You have been so supportive & genuine; returning kind words, love, and support, free of judgement.  I feel blessed beyond words! (& I typically have ALL the words! Ha!)

Now, let’s take this out into our brokenhearted world and share the unconditional love of Our Heavenly Father!

XoXo –  B